Letter to Love

Letter to Love:

Really, I just wanted to tell you that I think you are complicated, selfish, hypocrite , conceited , and all the bad names any written and spoken language can give you, Yes my Love, first, you come to me in this sweet and interesting fragrance that I can almost taste, but I can't .
Then I get close to you and you make me wait for you to make sure I am the one you're looking for, come on, really? takes me days to fall for you and years to forget you.
Love you've been hurting all of me. Don't play anymore, just be honest. I really don't believe you can, you hide behind flowers, chocolate, romantic music, beautiful smiles, honey eyes, etc. Yes the list can go on and on....
Why do you make me like you? then just let me go "for our own good" what the hell does that mean????
Some friends tell me that you are loyal, that you truly respect me and accept me for who I am. I think you show me your love face and is just lust what is really inside you.
I don't think is all that bad, but anyway, see I lost it right there, even writing about your face comes and goes.
I didn't pass the test of survival , I know that I have to surrender to you but it's hard to let go of what I've been taught over the years, and also I think you just want me to be stronger, but I can't, I'm weak and scare to give you all I am, I know your not asking for that , but sometimes I have the feeling that you will one day ask for it.
What I'm feeling is horrible, not having you drives me crazy but I know this will help me to know myself better and that's a good thing, a very good thing, I've been lost for a while, even long before I met you, yes, sorry I didn't tell you before , again my fears of expectations, so It was a good thing having you for a while, I've learned that hate is not good for my soul, it will destroy my stomach, (Stomach Ulcers are really painful), and my poor lungs are starting to fight against all that smoke I've inhaled, is enough with all the contamination we already have on planet earth,
OK, I'll let you go now, hope we can be friends and maybe someday I will be ready to have you once again.
Stay true to yourself , I know I will......WELL AT LEAST I WILL TRY.

your friend

Blue

Complicaciones

Complicaciones... porque los seres humanos nos gusta las complicaciones?, Sabemos lo que queremos y sin embargo nos vamos por el camino mas complicado. Sera esta lo forma natural de actuar?, creo q es parte del ego q nos hace querer llamar la atencion, no solo de los demas sino de nosotros mismos, el sentir lastima de nosotros, o sentir la necesidad de atencio, todo se va al mismo punto , al EGO , necesita alimentarse de complicaciones, lastima, odios, etc.
Complicaciones... Innecesarias.

Falling

LIfe is hanging from the silver string between my head and my soul. Can't comprehend it , or maybe I don't want to understand it, my heart aches , my head hurts , my soul is fading in the night, just that little light remains, but what is going on?. how can I just give up!
My life is not valuable? Can I survive?
In this dream I'm falling and can't stop, I know I'm the one in control of my memories and the action in my dreams ..... But maybe I don't want to stop, I can't see the bottom, maybe I don't wan to see it.
I just want to feel the air on my body while I'm falling ... the rush ... the willing of letting go maybe I would fine the peace I'm searching for...
Ceasing to live is not an option.
For now I just want to keep falling......

Boys vs Men

Boys Try to control their woman.

Men control themselves.



Boys lie and hide.

Men are honest and take responsibility for their actions.



Boys put their hands on their woman in anger.

Men only touch their woman as act of intimacy or in a posture of prayer.



Boys avoid commitment.

Men have the courage to be vulnerable in relationship.



Boys criticized and complain.

Men compliment and cultivate.



Boys talk about what they're going to do.

Men do it.



Boys pride themselves on being pimps and playas.

Men recognize thet to disrespect or degrade woman is a sign of self hatred.



Boys heads are on the swivel while out with a woman.

Men are respectful enough to give a woman his undivided attention (that means eye contact) at leasr until the date ends.



Boys think they've done something when they occupy a woman's bed.
Men knows you ain't done nothing until you occupiy a woman's heart and penetrate her soul.

Boys are intimidated by a strong woman.
Men recognized that iron sharpens iron and avoid simple woman.

Boys get angry, blame and/or avoid their girl when she tells him she's pregnant.
Men take control of their own destiny and handle their bussines before having sex.

***BONUS***

Boys think that their physical attributes, bank accounts and/or talents are enough to satisfy any woman.

Men know that a relationshipwith God is the key to satisfying your woman-because He created her and He alone knows her every need and desire.

Sl.

Sentimiento

Me siento sin la energia de luchar contra lo q siento
Es dificil negar lo q mi corazon siente
No puedo ignorar lo q mi piel desea
pero tengo q tratar.

Me siento cansada al tratar de negar lo q esta pasando en mi.
Es dolor lo q siento al no poder estar contigo,
no quiero olvidar tus ojos
pero debo de tratar .

Me siento estupida al pensar q lo nuestro podria ser,
es todo lo q mi corazon trata de decirme cuando mis ojos ven tu cara;
no puedo imaginar mi vida sin ti
pero debo olvidar .


Me siento derrotada ante tus labios
es tan amaraga tu sonrisa cuando...
no puedo correponder como quisiera
pero admito q deseo responder.

Me siento llena de vida a tu lado
Es tan facil caer entre tus brazos sin ningun temor.
No es facil tratar de olvidarte,
Pero es tan grande el amor q siento por ti.

Bluelesc.

Celos

Celos son lo q siento cuando no estas a mi lado
no me gusta estar sin ti
detesto no poder sentirte
odio esta incertidumbre de no tenerte

Celos son lo q destruyen mi alma
no siento q late mi corazon de alegria, es odio nada mas
como me llena de pena
dolor es lo unico q siento en estos momentos de oscuridad

Celos son lo q veo en mi futuro
no veo mas alla de mi colera
como poder arrancarte de mi corazon
para q ya no me lastimes

Celos es lo unico q hasta ahora me une a ti
odio el dolor en el alma.
La pena q llevo cada dia de mi vida
te la debo a ti, mi amor.

VOTE

Today was very important for me I did know until it happened – Early on Tuesday My youngest son and I went o the voting poll and I saw a little more people that usual , well a lot more usually is 2 people including me , but today they were no booth available I had to wait for around 5 minutes that start making me anxious, and I started to feel the pressure of this elections, and the pressure of the propositions, when one of the booth was cleared this Asian old lady poke me and told me one was available , didn’t like it that much but what are you going to do, they had raise me to have respect for the our seniors , so I said thank you, and started walking towards the booth with my boy….he was like nervous and excited at the same time I can tell by his blank expression in his face. Well we started put it in the ballot in the little box thing and open my little booklet that send by mail, I always read all the information that I can, so I’ll be prepare for the Props, I open my little booklet and went over it with my son, he heisted and said to me where does it say the president I point at it and he said “where does it said Obama” and I pointed at the name he smiled, I knew at that moment how import was THIS elections, even our smallest children are aware of the importance of this big one, our future has to change. I know in my heart that times will get harder, and at the same time I’ll know change will come eventually. And for a few seconds later the Asian old lady poke me again… what a surprise she was beside my booth asking me where was Obama’s name she couldn’t find it, she was like 3 pages ahead, so I showed her that it was in the 1st page and pointed at the name, she smiled at me and said thank you in her accent, and it’s like hitting you twice in the face WOW, this hast to be a election that we where going to talk about it for decades, like Kennedy’s assassination, Regan’s wall, Clinton infamous affair, I mean it would have the world talking and I’m part of history, from old like the Asian lady to the youngest ones like my boy this will be good for writers, news, everyone. Well returning to them all it was excited and emotional from the president to the props at then I saw prop 8 and my stomach started feeling weak, I didn’t want to mess up so I read it and made sure I was poking the right one NO on 8, and my heart felt happy, it is time for accept my brother and my sister to this “society” no discrimination in the world, especially in the place that I’m planning to raised my children, I have teach them this past months about respect the decision that others make, don’t criticized, no racial comments, and the usual keep your hands to your self every day before school, pay attention in class, respect your teacher…. But how can I tell my kids don’t do this or that if I don’t try to change society with this marriage discrimination, let THEM be as equal in this society as us, there are humans just like us they feel good and bad just like is , had family, parents , brothers and sisters just like us, why make it harder for them, why not include them in society and lets work together, let them teach us, and explain us how we can deal with same sex marriages, I want to know how to teach and explain my kids about it, this will happen “we like it or not” like in the commercials, they used that so we can feel offended I didn’t take it that way, it was the truth. Hardcore ..but it was really happening. I ask my 14 year old son since when he knew about gays and he said since he was around 12, I felt bad because I didn’t know that, and he knew about in worst types of way, they were using the word gay in the discriminating and the worst way that can be used, making feel this boy bad about how he felt, I don’t even know how or what words to use because no one has teach me about gays, it is ignorant not to want to learn about it, there is a lot a kids that they are gays an lesbians, and make them feel like they are not part of my world, I feel ashamed for not even trying to heard them, for not even wanted to learn about, whe are better then that. That is why I voted NO on 8 it is time for change. At the end of the ballot my son smiled and we walk towards that machine. It was a beautiful day lets see if times make it a wonderful day.