Still

I have been going crazy, lets say it better in a crazy path of nothing! It so hard to see the real “path”, or walkway if you want to call it that, is so dark ,but not dark enough to loose my self in it. Is like been on the beach strand you can feel the cement on you feet, hear the waves of the ocean, and smell that salty fresh smell, and there it is that thick and cold cloud just when you try to see the waves and the path in front of you and is not completely dark is that time of the day when the sun already set but you see all grayish, like I said not dark enough, but still make my sight blind in a way, feel the cold of the breeze, I was ok a moment ago, now that panic inside me staring to come out , I have goose bumps , but I realize in a second is not the cold weather , starts from the tips of my fingers and my toes , and my stomach start to feel heavy, like a just been punch on it. OHHH come on what the hell is going on with me? I was ok a minute ago , to many feelings at the same time, why a can’t see what my bright path is , so I can get out of this dark cloud around me?, I want to but I can’t move …. So hard is easy just to let my body endure this crazy feeling, it doesn’t hurt is just a empty cold feeling, but would I get out of this when I want to or I would grow with the time with no more feelings in me, like nice feelings or feeling at all? should I fight what I believe I’ve learn from my love ones to fight to stay happy?, or just let it be, I can’t say is giving up, is just that I’m tired I just want to rest for a few minutes, or hours, days ..Not sure, I just want to let this cold and still feeling carry me for a while, like I once said, go we the flow, not pushing it in the opposite way, just let it be, easy I can breathe without hurting, let the moist in the air breath for me, let the sound of the waves carry me to my destiny, let the gray light be my heart, I just want to pause for a moment, just the exact time I need to recharge and.. don’t want to think anymore.